Temper, Family

Stop with the idealism that "I think I don't have (bad) temper" !

Just because "people have been saying that I don't have temper", don't you be so naive and buy into that, it is impossible that no one has no temper, and the eruption thereof that hurts the ones you love. 

Saints and sages say, the members of a family usually have a common temper, or rather, people of the same temper'll end up under the same roof of one household; this is Law of Attraction.

Is this relevant to the mainstream? Yes, definitely. It is not hard to realize that how similar essentially a family is in the nature of their tempers, the factors that provoke it, and the way the members vent their bad emotions out. 

Wonder if our family, ourselves, per se, be the case described? 

Recall the last time we talk to our family members, and the point backwards, each time and everyone. 

Watch closely: 

In what forms have bad emotions been unleashed in a wild-fire manner; hurtful words? stinging actions? 

What kindling sparkle the whole conflagration; the raising octaves? the reluctance to relent? 

And how the sentiments have been leashed, and subsided; heart-felt apology? half-hearted equivalent? or passage of time?

As a part of the family, we certainly take our unique part in the emotional imbroglio, causing it, by which we are tensed up and gotten hurt. 

As far as a household is concerned, as everybody in it is having the same problem, as a rational part, we must stand out of the little crowd here. 

For it is a viral cycle, with one player affecting another, deeply and affectionately. 

A cycle means, one must pass on his contribution in order to roll the avalanche of grudge into bigger, knowingly or unconsciously, unintentionally or purposely. 

Reverse logic dictates that if either one of the players defies the process by not giving his integral part for the cycle to go on, 

the cycle will crumble, and collapse.

Flipping back onto our own life, think in reverie, if there is anyone in our households is playing that mending role? That so-called "good" person? The reconciliator? 

If yes, why are we not by his side, reaching out to prevent our household from falling apart in each argument?

If no, why are we not becoming the pioneer?

Take our stance as a reconciliation mediator, with a grip of steel, at the strongest of our will. Retreat the moment we know things will get more tensed if left to proceed. Avoid the point of stimulation if we are engaging in a two-way interactions. Try to lead the conversations to seclude the eruptive mines which you are aware of in a three-way intra-family communications, even if it doesn't necessarily involve you. Be the first ones to stoop, give up our so-thought precious pride and apologize.

Come to think of it, I once wondered why presumably must I put myself in such a sacrificial position while others are sharing just the similar cliche in the household? Why must I be the one to first go undignified to bow my head and apologize, while others are so carried away with their heads held high? Why must I be the one who only give while others only take in the process? Why, I asked myself.

But soon, I found the answer, with affirmations. 

This is out of love, to my family. And in love, there is no differentiation of you, and me. 

We are living as one under the same loving roof.

As in, while one end hurts, the other end feels too. 

Every endeavour only takes courage and determination to give the first step. And we are all able to afford that, for the sake of our loved and beloved ones. 

Lose the argument, win the person, whom we love. 

Newton's Third Law says every action will incur a similar but opposite reaction. And you know what, it applies here too... =)