Tonight. is relatively cold compared to the other nights. It is just windy, and the cold breeze brings the coldness and its comfort to our rooms, so as the phenomenon of sentiment.
Tomorrow will be having my first ever topic test of MUFY, so as the first test of CSC. A technology idiot like me after struggled for two nights for computing information, finally found a moment that i can call mine. As the night grows outlandishly with my wakefulness. Thinking of scribble something here.
And here i am.
Came to realize that, though camouflaged by laughters and smiles and makeups, there are stories behind the typical looking faces of every single ones. There are stories that are more than interesting; it is something real and it's told by the persona himself. It's something miraculous.
Reading an article about duality in life, and so how the emotion inside me is brought up. i can feel her pain, her sadness.  As i was there, tip-toeing on the frontier of path led by two different decisions. Seeing the boundary outlined by tears, by sweats, and by speculation on which one is the correct one. Each of them lies equally fair, and enticing. I have been trying to find that word. Now i have found it from my friend.
Postiveness.

I know that im not good in making decisions, and letting go the corresponding ramifications of that which are one decision away from me. But now, here i am. leading a new phase of my life already. Now am still searching for the best configuration to my behaviour and attitude that goes well with lifestyle.

Am here i am. starting to know new friends, being close to them, and sharing our laughters together,

And here i am, pacing my way towards a future i have chosen.

And here i am, standing still on my feet.
I look back to that line of separation of the paths, i know there is no turning back.

And here i am, ready to face the world and its everything.

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Today, a day spent in the library together with my cousin, a day trying to wake my rusty brain that had not been working for too long up. This is so painful that you come to realize that your brain aint working when you are confronting a stakes of handouts that are constitutes of words of information that tries to enrich ur knowledge. It's even more painful when you realize that you cannot get a firm hold on everything u thought u have devoured, especially on academics. the feeling that you start to think and consider yourself as nothing but a dump. It feels so, wrong..

As we know, there lies the notable realm that separates the phase of secondary school life and life being a college student. There are certain changes that are inevitable for you to make; to configure yourself in order to make it through all the thorns and loops that lay along the way you re heading. Sometimes, we just cannot remain unchanged if we are to survive the big waves in life. College life denotes the essential of maturity; which counts the most when you are trying to solve problem, and also avoid problem from coming. And now this is what im going for. The street-wisdom, the tactfulness in handling speech and relationship. It takes wisdom and intelligence. The way of college students pick up knowledge is totally far and different from spoon-feeding. You have to put an effort to acquire the knowledge you need to maintain the grades. It's no easy job. Feeling hopeless to come to realize that how shallow we are.

Another thing is, attitude. Or behavior. in terms of this, i already got someone to look up to; she is a package of perfection regarding her way of facing the world. She permeates an amazing aura that make her gleam and shine in the middle of the crowd. When she stood out, you can assert that she is somebody; her behavior tells that. Her way of handling relationships and getting the best of it are just simply enticing. in hindsight i pledge to be like her, or just nearer to being in a same league with her.

i know, i still need alot of life experience to season me and morph me into a true adult. i still need alot of guides so that i can grope my way out of all doubts and uncertainties; there are still alot of failures that i have to undergo before i can feel the taste of true success...

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Huh.. The one speaking now is a MUFY student who is aiming to study in MONASH UNIVERSITY, one of the world top-ranked university XD proud of that..

whilst blending myself in the beauty of the beginning of my college life, among the sea of heads of people popping  up and down in the crowd, i know the pressure is there already. Because firstly, the bar to gain an entry into monash itself is pretty high already. Secondly, the people beside me are all so damn smart one. It 's till the extent that even if you simply bump into anyone of the MUFY student, he/ she probably is one of the full A+ students.  

My housemates? ok erm.. they are all very kind and friendly. Juz now juz come bec from The Lunch Box chatting wif my senior, ling hui. And she is going to fly already in the next february. its so sad T.T

.....

Actually its not my style to write a post like this, if u re familiar with my way of dashing off in the blog. Actually there is something plying into my mind and threaten to spill out. but, i think i couldn't write it here. i just simply can't. But from this thing, i truly realize that the way u treat others significantly affects the way people think of you and how much he/she is looking forward to see you again.. Kind of depressed now. But i will seriously learn a lesson from that.. Remember, always give others a staircase to come down from the stage. It's no point trying to overpower others all the times. This will do nothing but bring down the connection between you and him. T.T

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