Temper, Family

Stop with the idealism that "I think I don't have (bad) temper" !

Just because "people have been saying that I don't have temper", don't you be so naive and buy into that, it is impossible that no one has no temper, and the eruption thereof that hurts the ones you love. 

Saints and sages say, the members of a family usually have a common temper, or rather, people of the same temper'll end up under the same roof of one household; this is Law of Attraction.

Is this relevant to the mainstream? Yes, definitely. It is not hard to realize that how similar essentially a family is in the nature of their tempers, the factors that provoke it, and the way the members vent their bad emotions out. 

Wonder if our family, ourselves, per se, be the case described? 

Recall the last time we talk to our family members, and the point backwards, each time and everyone. 

Watch closely: 

In what forms have bad emotions been unleashed in a wild-fire manner; hurtful words? stinging actions? 

What kindling sparkle the whole conflagration; the raising octaves? the reluctance to relent? 

And how the sentiments have been leashed, and subsided; heart-felt apology? half-hearted equivalent? or passage of time?

As a part of the family, we certainly take our unique part in the emotional imbroglio, causing it, by which we are tensed up and gotten hurt. 

As far as a household is concerned, as everybody in it is having the same problem, as a rational part, we must stand out of the little crowd here. 

For it is a viral cycle, with one player affecting another, deeply and affectionately. 

A cycle means, one must pass on his contribution in order to roll the avalanche of grudge into bigger, knowingly or unconsciously, unintentionally or purposely. 

Reverse logic dictates that if either one of the players defies the process by not giving his integral part for the cycle to go on, 

the cycle will crumble, and collapse.

Flipping back onto our own life, think in reverie, if there is anyone in our households is playing that mending role? That so-called "good" person? The reconciliator? 

If yes, why are we not by his side, reaching out to prevent our household from falling apart in each argument?

If no, why are we not becoming the pioneer?

Take our stance as a reconciliation mediator, with a grip of steel, at the strongest of our will. Retreat the moment we know things will get more tensed if left to proceed. Avoid the point of stimulation if we are engaging in a two-way interactions. Try to lead the conversations to seclude the eruptive mines which you are aware of in a three-way intra-family communications, even if it doesn't necessarily involve you. Be the first ones to stoop, give up our so-thought precious pride and apologize.

Come to think of it, I once wondered why presumably must I put myself in such a sacrificial position while others are sharing just the similar cliche in the household? Why must I be the one to first go undignified to bow my head and apologize, while others are so carried away with their heads held high? Why must I be the one who only give while others only take in the process? Why, I asked myself.

But soon, I found the answer, with affirmations. 

This is out of love, to my family. And in love, there is no differentiation of you, and me. 

We are living as one under the same loving roof.

As in, while one end hurts, the other end feels too. 

Every endeavour only takes courage and determination to give the first step. And we are all able to afford that, for the sake of our loved and beloved ones. 

Lose the argument, win the person, whom we love. 

Newton's Third Law says every action will incur a similar but opposite reaction. And you know what, it applies here too... =)

  

      

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Storm Out of My Comfort Zone

Grabbing hither and you for a suitable description for this.

Overly pampered. I think it is. Yes, it is.

Wondering whether this is a phenomenal tragedy for all the 90's-born babies, or so i thought. Writing this post behind a person who is utterly not apropos to the description above, or rather someone who breaks through from the live-his-life-fretting-under-his-mama's-wing spell, it means something. 

Hard feeling a little bit, envy not really, but determination to change a lot. 

This time, it really inspires me to brave a revamp of me and who I am, out within. Be someone who really, can live his life to the fullest, throw away some blurriness and adopt some shrewdness. 

Change, my dear 90's-born babies, we are not getting any younger. We got to change for better, no matter what problem you are having, or worse that you are not realizing your weakness. We have tostand on our legs, firmly, whatever it takes, even a stumbling-over or more, stingingly hurtful one(s).    

Yes, at the same time, i also have to confess to my honesty that all the changes, transformations that i have been mooting from the long past, now ends up nothing but just theories. 

Now, the determination i mean is that i really have to get onto the ground and really actualize some changes in my life. Walk the thought, baby (i have never talked about this to anybody but my inner self, not even allude nor dwell). 

These are some inner fights that i have to really get over in order to move my life forward from stagnancy. 

Some encroaching changes would be more than enough, rather than all talks and no real actions. 

Yes. 
Some simple changes. A little bit at a time.

Simple is beautiful. 

=) so as this post. 

That's all for now. Let me keep my epiphany to myself and hopefully work it out for you to see. 

Wrap up, I have to storm out of my comfort zone, ouups, correction: roll SLOWLY AND STEADILY out of my comfort zone. 

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When You Believe

Having had an offhanded palaver with my best friend over the happenings in respective life last night, she asked me whether or not I am itched by the couple of our best friends, who have just get along together and never fail to demonstrate what it means to be in a relationship, of getting a partner and into a personal relationship of my own.

This took a bit of thinking and hind-sighting. Smiled, I gave my usual answer, "no." 

Today, saturated with the knowledge of all the happenings in the medical fields, I took a ditch off the website and hit onto a video clip which I had stored with guilt - due to the lack of legitimate right granted for me to do so.

Then, with the song blasting in its perfection through my headphone, I reflected that question upon myself, again. 

"Am I really don't need a partner in my life?"    

Upon that questioning, instead of all the lovey-dovey spooning scene of the duos coming along, rather a more platonic picture came into appearance.  

Before I realize, the question was skewed, with the object of the question essentially altered with the addition of an adjective.

"Singing"

Yes. This is what I want. A singing partner. 

Eyeing with admiration of how the two spectacular singers can contribute their voices to the presentation of a song of course in their own particular, respectful, non-overlapping way, 

I realize, that is all I wish.

I don't think I need any of the flirting scenes in my life, - in fact I hate them, of course, only when I happen to be one of the active players - or any "so-called" girlfriend barging into my life alongside the dramas that barely part with it as a whole. Spare me the brunt, please. 

But not this one, a singing partner who can belt this particular song with me.

This is a song which teaches me not to give up when things get tough, with me getting tough(er) to get going; it means rather a lot to me. An typical inspirational song to others, but a little more than that to me. 


As yet, none of my best friends can fill that position. 
Still keep in finger-crossed. 
Who knows, when someone does, she may be more than just best friend to me. =)

When You Believe 

by Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could


There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe


In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove(s) in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe


They don't (always happen) when you ask
(Oh)
And it's easy to give in to your fears
(Oh...Ohhhh)
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
(A small but )still resilient voice
Says (hope is very near)
(Ohhh)

There can be miracles
(Miracles)
When you believe
(Lord, when you believe)
Though hope is frail
(Though hope is frail)
It's hard to kill
(Hard to kill, Ohhh)
Who knows what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will(somehow,somehow, somehow)
somehow you will
You will when you believe

You will when you
You will when you believe
Just believe...in your heart
Just believe
You will when you believe~

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Stop and Stare, inwardly.

Without knowing, there is already a number of posts which I have written but do not publish, all of which bud off from my little epiphanies that gleam across the sky of my world.
Some of it need completion, some of it refinement, most of the rest a sugarcoat since they contain personal informations about me and others around that should be kept under the wrap of confidentiality.
However, these efforts need a lot of commitment and inspiration, among which i could not afford at this point of time where my interview is noticeably at the verge.
Hopefully I can produce these posts as soon as possible, and be focused on reaching my personal goals.
Finger crossed, hoping that you are doing the parallel.
Let's make the divine revamp on ourselves, our personalities, our internal environment, and probably our futures.

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Normalcy

I smell something.
What scent can it be?
Searching.
Oh, a scent of normalcy, which i kiss goodbye to last Friday night.
A scent that my normal living routine furnishes, boosts of, and vibrates strongly with.
It is not that sort of scent which permeates though my hostel. Not the scent of air stagnancy due in large part to the poor ventilation of my room. Nor it is the scene that exudes from the stockings that lie on the floor mat which flanks my hostel door.
 It is a subtle mixture of everything, as a whole.
As the convivial interlude comes to its full-stop, it made its pregnant appearance, slowly, gradually, securing of its inevitability.
To some, allegedly, it comes in a freaking loom, coming to realize how fast the seconds of holiday have slipped through from every single event that allows them to take a ditch from their daily regimes.  


I get a hunch over something.
What totem can it be?
Thinking.
Oh, a harbinger that heralds the not-so-pleasant comeback of the boring routine, and the responsibility that pins with it.
It is not really obvious to sight, to touch and to the innate instinctive reception, but profound as for its significance.
It actually signals our obligation to, again, lift up the onus, the responsibility which we had left it over a ephemeral period from where it was left.
In the other words, without the responsibility knowingly rested on our shoulders, we are going nowhere.


I feel something.
What feeling can it be?
It is a feeling of tiredness, of the kind which you will normally find before you gird up your loin to brace yourself for the inevitable, but not after a short, empowering rest.
Life is basically inevitable, alongside the sweetness, sourness, bitterness and spice that comprise it.
To be investigative, they are just external stimuli over which we got little, if not completely no control.




Again, I smell something.
Now, what is it?
It is the smell of my room, following the picture materialized within my current captivity which i reflexively address it as my room.
It hits me, just as i laid my fingers on the keyboard, eyes on the screen of the laptop which overlooked one laid-back corner of my room, aforementioned.
It is like nothing had happened before, or just that i was too tired to recall how had my life been over the pass one week.
With my dear house mates barging in, smirking, teasing around, the smell had never been stronger.

But, somewhere deep inside my heart core, left something which i subconsciously hold dear to.
Something like, a rather vague memory, yet a happy one, about how i had spent my one and only 2012 Chinese new year with my endearing family over a joyful week..

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Evening Interlude

Speaking from a person who had just come back from Yamaha Music Concert, namely 'Evening Interlude'. This is the very first one-of-its-kind show, presented by Yamaha School branched Malaysia, which is open to public domain, extending the power of musical wonders to commoners like us, like me. And it is rather perspicuous in a couple of ways; the chaos on stage filling the interludes between items, well-dressed performers clad in splendid night gowns dragging the probes, the chairs and the instruments, one of the emcees slightly shaking in her feet, etc.

Anyway, these are no objects if the show is seen from a greater scheme. The show really blew me away in an enchanted blast, with spelled semibreves, crotchets, and quivers filling the air, pampering my ear drum. The locale is really spectacular in its own way, in a way that is beyond words; it happens to take place in Malaysia Tourism Center which is normally teemed with melees of excited foreigners; and now we became part of them, mostly if not totally foreign to the Tiger's Mother's culture.  It is located in KLCC and KL Twin Tower's vicinity, where you can oversee the breathe-taking night scenery of the duos just one step outside the performing hall. My aunt was certainly awestruck by the scenery which is usually less than attractive to the locals, meaning Malaysians, let alone KL citizens.

Heartiest credits to my cousin sister, who is pursuing a musical diploma in Yamaha School and hence performing in the show too, owing this opportunity that comes with free tickets to her. This is the very first enjoyment of grand-sized orchestra performance of my life, though i had been rather spending my entire high-school stint with the school core orchestra members. The stage were good, the settings were good, the lighting were good, the musical tools were good, most importantly, the performers were really really excellent. They certainly did a great job in fascinating us throughout the show, keeping us hooked, and shoving our excitement to the ne plus ultra, smoothly. The juxtaposition of contemporary musics and classic pieces, the multi-tasking of the professional performers, and of course their listlessness in presenting the best of them one item after another. Their love for music was clearly unfolded in the reflexive, subconscious gestures of their arms, their legs and their heads, eyes closed, frenetic fingers on the keys or strings on full gear, silky hair snaking elegantly alongside with the flux as the music went.

A wonderful evening, tinctured with wonderful performances.

And of course, another event of epiphany for me. 

Delighted. 

=)

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