The Greyish Skies...

I suppose i have just somehow reached the some sort of nadir of my life..
The feeling of soaring up to the sky and suddenly hurtling down from the zenith of my life bound for somewhere near to the hell,  ain't something bearable for me..
I start to wonder why.
Why what, you ask. Why all these odds against me?
Getting straight A+ in SPM, getting a sponsorship from PETRONAS..
Ya, to others it seems that i have been granted everything divine and wonderful in one person's life, one striving scholar's life, to be precise.
But, they took away the real hope of mine, JPA scholarship.




I was kind of stunned there when I get to know the result of my application for JPA sponsorship.
This is not something I ll ever expect in my life, never once, in my wildest dream.
It feels like you have been having yourself lying on a bed of roses, but out of a sudden, the bed flipped over with you tumbling down onto a bed of nails beneath.
It dawns on me that, maybe, my dream that have basked me ever since the day for the SPM result to release, has come to its end. And abruptly it jolted me back from the flashbacks of my memories in Genting Highland with one of my best friends, to the ruthless reality. At the moment, I got so many things criss-crossing in my mind, threatening to spill out. But this particular friend lying in front of me ain't a suitable confidant for me to pour everything out. So, I chose to hush myself up. The feeling of things bottling up in your mind till it reached a threshold where my mind itself couldn't hold it for any longer.


My friend was right, ' if you don't get a good offer from JPA, your SPM slip is somehow nothing more than a trash, no matter how fancy and flawless it looks.' And now it's exactly what happening to me. I think, my two other friends are also not feeling any better than that.


Now, I start to believe in karma, in the sense that you will get what you have done. But it's kind of impossible for me to look back to my past-life to see what degree of offence i have made that is enough to cause all these to happen to me.
I am not supposedly sad since it comes with a backup plan since there is somebody who is more unlucky than im, 
i should be grateful for everything i have laid my hands on,
but, for now, geologist is not really what i want to do...


Curious bout the way my fate works and how far and where it will bring me ...